Meditation and Intoxicants: Together with the other

The Other

We can only realize ourselves through encounter and interaction with the other. Self-development is not a solitary enterprise; rather, it consists precisely in taking up the challenge of approaching the other while accepting his or her difference.

This cannot happen without self-acceptance. That is what enables us to deal with our own otherness and to accept the other within ourselves.

That is what makes us human: standing in relation to other people. The fact that we can mean something to one another, extend a hand, and help each other through difficult moments in our lives.

Acceptance of the other and of ourselves is so crucial because without it genuine communication cannot arise. The point is not to perform a little comedy, but to show who we truly are.

For that we must coincide with ourselves and remove the causes of double communication. Many misunderstandings arise from ambiguous messages. We mean A, but we say B, because various complexes and inhibitions stand in the way.

These obstacles arise from feelings of fear, guilt, or shame, or from the pain of hurtful experiences in the past. The list is long.

Sooner or later the wounds become scars, and you can face them again. Forgive the past and plan the future.

But this only works if trust is possible. One needs a certain basic trust in order to step out of oneself toward the other. Trust in oneself as well as in the other.

The one always reflects the other. If you have no trust in yourself, it is very difficult to trust someone else—and vice versa.

To some extent this is a process of growth, and where necessary also a process of healing. The two go hand in hand, and both growth and healing are necessary if we are to climb out of the abyss of loneliness.

To reach that point is already an act of meaning-making in itself.

Beyond that there is little more one can do—except, once you have reached that stage, to give a small part of yourself away.

For everything you then give, you receive tenfold in return. That is how love works, and for the time being it remains the primary source of meaning in life.

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