Skin hunger in corona times

Touch and body contact are important human life needs. This is true not only for babies and small children, but also for adults. During this corona crisis, therefore, a lot of people suffer from “skin hunger. Journalist Karolien Selhorst spoke with Dr. Peter van Breusegem

Peter, what does physical contact mean to you as a person and as a GP?

“With people you touch or are physically close to, that’s where an intimate bond of trust is formed. For example,For example, if a man wants to seduce a woman, touching each other is crucial. If the other makes it happen, then you know your efforts are not in vain. If the other person rejects your touch, then you’re out of luck. So as soon as you allow someone into your physical circle, you enter another level. Then a certain kind of intimacy arises.”

Is it essential for a general practitioner to touch patients?

“Yes, and this is even more true for nurses who are even closer to patients. Now, as a family physician I find it difficult that I cannot touch people now.”

You used to have a hard time with physical contact, though?

“As a child, I was not used to being touched much. My mother was sick and my father worked all the time. So touch for me was something strange and something frightening. I also didn’t feel good about myself and was depressed. However, at one point I left on an internship to Africa where people interact in a different way. They are especially more physical with each other than here. That was really a revelation to me. Those people spontaneously touched me; I touched them. That gave me a good feeling, because their touching didn’t have any immediate ulterior motives. Until then I had always thought that if you touch each other, it has to end in sex. This is not at all the case with Africans. They touch each other very spontaneously, they look each other in the eyes, and so on. In Belgium, unfortunately, we have lost that spontaneity a bit.”

And this corona crisis has increased the distance between people even more?

“Yes, indeed. So sometimes I ask myself, “What are we doing?” The distance between people in our northern countries was already so great and it is now becoming even greater. You’re thrown back on your own resources, so to speak. Each individual stands apart more than ever. Unlike in Africa, where physical contact represents a certain form of collectivity. In Belgium, before that internship, I often felt isolated and an outsider. Added to that, of course, was the issue of orientation. That also made me feel less accepted.”

So we have less physical contact now. Is that detrimental to health?

“Yes, for many people that is a loss for which there is little compensation.. There are few remedies for it and there is little or no substitute for physical contact.”

Finally, do you have any tips on how to somehow “compensate” for that lack anyway?

“Yes, definitely try to stay in touch with others by any means available. Just touching each other briefly with the ellenbow or with the buttocks can be comforting. Sometimes you also just have to cross boundaries. Yesterday I had a party in a limited circle and I can hardly restrain myself from making brief physical contact. I feel such a need and I take the risk. Of course with all due respect for the basic rules of hygiene. I think we should start again. Surely there must be ways to be intimate with each other again in some way.”

Do you think the current rules are too strict then?

“Now, they are certainly open to interpretation. Occasionally we have to be able to bend the rules and give priority to the affective rather than the virological. Because a lack of affectivity and intimacy can also harm health. For example, it can lead to increased substance abuse, emotional problems, etc. ”

Perhaps an indiscreet question: how do you and your partner handle intimacy now?

“I note that something has changed after all. We both work in health care and so we do run a certain risk. So it’s a dilemma: on the one hand I don’t want to catch anything, on the other hand I don’t want to pass anything on either. I would feel very guilty if I infected my partner. So you try to observe the rules more for the other person than for yourself. There has definitely been a greater distance and I do regret that.”

Continue reading?

You can read the essay “Touch” here.

 

Written by Karolien Selhorst.

 

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